


When I ruled the world

by orphan_account



Series: If Arthur didn't die [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Arthur Knows About Merlin's Magic (Merlin), Arthur and Merlin can't return to Camelot, Arthur died but came back to life, Arthur is VERY affectionate, Depends on How I'm Feeling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, I'm kinda focused on my other fic, I'm so bad at tags I'm sorry, M/M, Merlin has nightmares a bit like Morgana had, a kind of sleeping beauty thing, and was emotionally traumatised, because why not, but i like this idea too, exept they aren't anything like the ones morgana had, i don't even know why i wrote this, i might add another chapter, i only wrote it because i rewatched Arthur's death, it's 2am, not sure if it worked, so i tried to cheer myself up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:47:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24734872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: If Arthur died and then came back to life. It ends up as a Merthur farm au and there's a new part coming soon. I'm sorry this summary is awful.
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: If Arthur didn't die [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1796725
Comments: 26
Kudos: 102





	1. Chapter 1

Merlin watched in horror as the great dragon soared through the clouds and out of sight. As annoying as he was, Kilgarah always held hope, some crazy path or destiny that told Merlin what he had to do. But now? Now he had nothing. Kilgarah had said wait until Albion's need was greatest, wait to see his best friend and king again. But no, Arthur couldn't be dead. Merlin looked down at the man, lying limp in his arms and he couldn't believe that this was the same bright, strong Arthur he had known and loved. Merlin lay Arthur on the grass, falling to his knees at the kings side. He listened for a heart beat. No, no no no. This couldn't be happening. Through everything, Arthur had always been there. While everyone else had been snatched, one by one away from them Arthur had always been at Merlin's side. He might have been a prat but he was Merlin's prat Merlin cupped Arthur's face with his hands and rested his forehead on Arthur's. Merlin didn't know what he was doing, he just knew he needed Arthur Pendragon, prat or not. Merlin leaned forward and pressed his lips to Arthur's for half a second. He didn't know what the hell he thought he was doing, or what Arthur would say if he was awake, but in that moment he didn't care. It just felt so perfect, like he'd been waiting for that moment his whole life, but now it was too late, Arthur was gone. Merlin rested his head on Arthur's armour plated chest, tears streaming down his face onto the cold metal. Suddenly he felt a warm hand on the back of his neck, he went rigid and his heart skipped a beat.  
"Arthur?"  
He looked up and his eyes met Arthur's, shining and very much alive.  
"You alright Merlin? What happened?"  
"ARTHUR!" he sobbed,  
"Hey, hey Merlin. S'okay."  
Merlin curled up on the grass next to Arthur, his head on Arthur's shoulder.  
"You were dead" he choked, "You died Arthur, Mordred killed you."  
"I feel fine."  
"But you were dead."  
"Look Merlin," said Arthur softly, "I feel fine. There's nothing wrong with me. Except the fact that I'm bloody freezing. Can you call your dragon or something, we need to get back to Camelot."  
Merlins hand came to rest absentmindedly on the hole in Arthur's armour, he let out a choked sob. He began to claw at the armour, desperately trying to see if the mortal wound was still there. Arthur gently eased of the armour and relief flooded through Merlin when he found Arthur shirt untouched. His breathing was fast and sharp and he let out a sigh.  
"We can't go back to Camelot, Arthur." said Merlin after his breathing had calmed down, "Kilgarah said I must stay here and wait for you to rise again."  
"But I've risen." said Arthur slowly, "So can we go now?"  
"It will harm Camelot greatly if you return Arthur. They have received the message that you were killed. It's hard to explain Arthur, but I can feel it. More than just a gut feeling, my magic tells me we have to pretend you are dead."  
Arthur's brows were knitted together in confusion.  
"Surely it can't do more harm than good to have me return to my kingdom. At least let me tell Guinevere that I'm safe-"  
"No Arthur." said Merlin firmly, "We can't. Come on, let's go to the woods and find somewhere to spend the night."

\--✩--

Arthur woke when something hit him hard in the face. He opened his eyes to see Merlin, thrashing about on the floor next to him. Merlin's brow was damp with sweat and he looked like he was being attacked. It took Arthur a moment to realise that Merlin was just having a nightmare. Did Merlin have nightmares? Were they like the ones Morgana had before… no, now was not the time to dwell on the past. It then occurred to Arthur that he wouldn't know if Merlin had nightmares, Merlin had always slept the other side of the castle to Arthur. In all honesty, he didn't have a clue what to do if someone was having a nightmare. Gwen would know, Gaius too probably, but neither of them were here, it was just him and Merlin. That sounded nice, just him and Merlin. Talking of Merlin, he was not muttering something in a language Arthur didn't understand. There were little clouds of smoke gathering around them, he was doing magic! Okay, Arthur had to do something, now. It was horrible, seeing Merlin in so much pain, but what he could do, he had no idea. 

\--✩--

It was one of those strange times when Merlin sort of knew he was having a nightmare, he just couldn't bring himself to wake up. Images, memories were flashing through his mind. The first time he met Arthur, when Arthur had drunk what he thought was poisen to save Merlin's life. Memories of Kilgarah attacking Camelot, Arthur sitting there with all his injuries looking so weak and helpless. When he had poisened Morgana, when his father died. When Uther had died and finally, Arthur lying limp and lifeless in his arms.  
"NO!" he screamed, sitting bolt upright, his eyes wide and scared. Within moments he could feel strong, warm arms wrapping around him. His breath came in gasps and sobs as Arthur gathered him up in his arms like a small child.  
"I can't lose you." he sobbed, clinging to Arthur like he was his lifeline. Arthur put a hand on the back of Merlin's head, pulling him roughly into his shoulder.  
"You're not going to lose me Merlin, you hear me? I'm not going anywhere."  
Arthur held his servent close, but no, in that moment Merlin wasn't his servent, he was his best friend. It seemed they were no longer servent and master, no longer king and subject, they were friends, brothers. They had both lost everything, all they had left was each other. Arthur couldn’t help being touched that Merlin was that concerned about losing him. And that made him all the more determined to stay here by Merlins side.  
When Merlin's breathing finally calmed down he looked up at Arthur, who was still cradling him against his chest.  
"Sorry." he said softly  
"What for?"  
"Waking you up, getting upset and all that."  
"Hey," replied Arthur, "Don't worry about it. What are friends for eh?"  
"Thanks Arthur."  
They sat in silence for a moment before Merlin shuffled awkwardly off Arthur's lap.  
"Where are you going?" asked Arthur in surprise, apparently he had been as comfortable as Merlin had been.  
"Giving you some space." muttered Merlin, "So you can sleep."  
"C'mere" replied Arthur, slipping an arm round Merlin and pulling him down to sit next to him. Merlin didn't complain, curling up against Arthur's side and wrapping an arm round his waist, "There," said Arthur soothingly, "You sleep."  
"You too."  
"Yeah."  
And so Merlin slept, wrapped in the warmth and safety of Arthur's arms. And then, nothing else mattered, in that moment it didn't matter that Arthur was meant to be dead and that they might be hiding out here for as long as they lived, in fact in that moment it seemed quite a pleasant idea.  
And Arthur slept, with his arms around the man he loved. And in that moment he didn't care that he had apparently died and come back to life. It didn't matter that he might never see any of the knights again, because he had Merlin, and Merlin had him, and they were fine.


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur glanced down at Merlin, who was still fast asleep beside him. The early morning sunshine fell across half of Merlin's face and Arthur couldn't help staring. Merlin's hair was a mess, tufting up into little spikes all over his head, Arthur chuckled softly and Merlin shuffled about, his eyes flickered open and met Arthur's. Merlin gave a sleepy smile.   
"Morning Arthur."   
"Hey Merls."  
"MERLS?" spluttered Merlin with a laugh, drawing away from Arthur and sitting cross-legged in front of him.   
"Sorry, Merlin."   
"That's better. Arthur, I'm going down to the river."  
"There's a river?"   
Merlin nodded, then his eyes glowed gold. Arthur jumped backwards away from him. Then he realised. Merlin was doing magic! Merlin's eyes went back to normal and he looked at Arthur, a huge smile spread across his face.   
"Yes, there's a river. Maybe 100 metres in that direction." Merlin pointed off to the right, "Come on." 

Arthur relaxed his muscles and let his feet hit the cool water. He tugged off his shirt and threw it on the bank, slipping into the river. The water was freezing as it covered his bare chest. He let out a sound he didn't know he could make and Merlin laughed.   
"I didn't say it was warm!"  
"Can't you make it?" asked Arthur, "With your magic. Can you heat up the water."  
"Probably," replied Merlin, "not sure I want to though. It's more fun this way."   
"Come on Merlin."  
"Alright, alright. Hang on."  
Merlin walked down to the water's edge and his eyes glowed gold again, almost instantly Arthur felt the water heat up around him. He sighed, leaning back so just his nose and eyes remained above the water. Merlin sat down, pulling off his boots and rolling his trousers up to his knees. He dipped his feet in the water, tilting his head back to stare at the sky. That's when Arthur grabbed Merlin's ankles, yanking him into the water. Merlin squealed like a girl.   
"ARTHUR! ARTHUR GERROFF ME!"  
Arthur roared with laughter as Merlin squirmed out of his grip, swimming for the bank.   
"Oh come on Merlin! Have a swim!"   
Merlin scowled at him.   
"Maybe I would, if you hadn't just almost drowned me."  
"Hey!" cried Arthur, throwing up his arms in surrender, "I didn't nearly drown you. I had ahold of you the whole time."   
"That isn't very reassuring you know." replied Merlin  
That hurt, that really hurt. Arthur scowled darkly at Merlin. Merlin looked round at Arthur, he seemed to see the hurt through the glare.   
"Hey, hey okay. I'm coming."   
Merlin swam back towards Arthur and he gave a whoop, wrapping his arms around Merlin and pulling him into a fierce hug. Merlin's shoulders tensed and Arthur went to pull back, but before he could he felt Merlin's arms tighten around him. Arthur could feel himself grinning stupidly as he melted against Merlin. He could tell Merlin was surprised but he hid it well and Arthur took the chance, burying his head in Merlin's shoulder. Merlin put his lips up to Arthur's ear.   
"Do we hug now? Why are we hugging?"   
"I needed a hug," replied Arthur, "And if I'm going to be stuck hiding out in the woods with you for as long as I live… We at least need to get onto hugging terms."  
"It might not be for as long as we live…"   
"But it might be."   
Merlin pulled away from Arthur and rolled his eyes, a small smirk playing on his face. "So, are we going to swim or what?" 

\--✩--

Merlin and Arthur had spent almost all day down by the river. They had stopped for Merlin to make some food appear out of thin air, good food too, apparently Merlin had many hidden talents. Gods, Arthur could get used to this. He lay back on the huge flat rock by the water's edge and heard Merlin do the same. He shot a look across at his friend he was fidgeting with a chain round his neck. Arthur had never noticed that, but then there were a lot of things Arthur didn't notice about Merlin.   
"What's that?" asked Arthur slowly, sitting up and leaning towards Merlin. The darker haired boy shrugged but Arthur reached out, lifting the chain from Merlin's bare chest, he could have sworn Merlin flinched when his fingertips brushed his chest, "Come on Merlin, what is it?"   
"A reminder."  
Arthur's brow furrowed and he looked closer, there was a small coin hanging from the chain.   
"A reminder of…?"   
"My destiny."   
"How, " asked Arthur, "Is an old silver coin a reminder of your destiny?"   
Merlin sighed impatiently and turned to lock eyes with Arthur.   
"The great dragon told me that we are two sides of the same coin, you and me. This coin serves as a constant reminder that it is my destiny to protect you. Because as long as you live alongside me, and i alongside you, we are whole. Without each other, Arthur, we are incomplete. I need you as much as you need me, I can never be fully me without you by my side. It is a reminder that I can never be parted from you or I will risk evading destiny. A reminder that if I lost you, or if you lost me, everything would fall apart completely, there would be nothing left. One of the first things Kilgarah ever said to me is that a being cannot hate that which makes it whole. We would be living our lives incompletely without each other ."  
Arthur stared at Merlin, his mouth hung open and he knew he must look like a complete idiot. He honestly felt like he'd learnt more about Merlin in those thirty seconds than he had in years of knowing the man.   
" And you didn't think to tell me any of this, I don't know WHEN I WAS DYING."  
"You were dying, there were more important things on my mind."  
"When I found out you had magic?"   
"You'd already got one hell of a shock, if I'd told you all that then you would've died."  
"When I married Gwen?"   
"Why," asked Merlin, "Would that have been useful information when you married Gwen?"   
"I might have… Rethought things if I'd known." replied Arthur, trying not to say more than he intended, "I might not have married had I known there was already someone waiting for me."  
Merlin must have guessed what he was getting at because he blushed and crossed his arms protectively over his chest. Fingering the coin around his neck.   
"I wasn't waiting for you like that Arthur." he said softly, although his face told a different story, "And even if you didn't marry Gwen, not much would have changed. Destiny always finds a way. We would still be here."  
"What if," pondered Arthur, "what if my destiny was never to die after Camlann, what if my destiny was always to end up here, with you?"  
"No man, no matter how great, can know his destiny."  
"The dragon told you that?"   
"Yeah." said Merlin with a grin, "Look Arthur, our destinies are entwined. I think, no matter what, we would end up here. And we might have many destinies. A destiny can change, sometimes without us even trying to change them. It was your destiny to become the greatest king Camelot has ever had. It is my destiny to protect you, Arthur, and I'm going to do that or die trying. Destinies are strange, complicated things. It sometimes seems they have a mind of their own. And no matter what we change in the past, they will always find a way."  
Arthur nodded, running a hand through his damp hair.   
"I'm loving the deep, meaningful talks and I'm learning so much about you, and myself." said Arthur, "But we really do need to get a shelter ready. Even starting now it probably won't be ready for tonight."   
"Aren't you forgetting something Arthur?" asked Merlin, "I can probably bend some branches over to make a shelter, I have magic. Look, don't worry about the shelter, I'll sort it later."  
"Good, I can hardly get a tan if I'm slaving away in the forest."  
Merlin gave a mischievous smile and dark clouds gathered over Arthur's head, blocking out the sun.   
"Merlin!" 

\--✩--

Arthur walked back to the remains of last night's fire. As they came into the clearing, Merlin lit the fire with just a glance and Arthur couldn't help staring slightly. He really needed to get used to Merlin using magic. Arthur threw his shirt down next to the fire, apparently his aim wasn't brilliant because it nearly landed in the flames, luckily Merlin managed to spot it and keep it hovering over the fire before floating it down to the grass, all the while his eyes glowing golden.   
"Your eyes." said Arthur softly, "They're-"   
"Gold, I know. They do that."   
"What else can you do with your magic?" asked Arthur, "C'mon Merlin, entertain me, show me what you can do."   
Merlin sat down next to Arthur, tugging on his shirt on and closing his eyes for a moment.   
"What do you want me to do?"   
"Anything." replied Arthur simply, "Do whatever comes to mind, surprise me."   
"You want me to… Just let my magic go, let it do what it likes?"   
"Yeah. Yeah do that."   
"Okay." murmured Merlin, he closed his eyes and Arthur could practically feel the energy pulsing through the air. Then smoke began to flow from Merlin's open palm, the smoke was yellow and twisted through the air forming a dragon, the Pendragon crest. The dragon roared, then flew through the air to Arthur, crawling across his shoulder before disappearing, quite literally, in a puff of smoke. Arthur looked up at Merlin, whose mouth was quirking up at the corner, his eyes bright. Then they glowed gold again, the trees around them began to weave together to form a canopy over the clearing, they were plunged into almost total darkness before a soft glow shone from the tree behind Merlin. It lit up the clearing and Arthur spun round to see a stag padding across the leaves towards him. He held out a shaking palm and patted the stag his eyes alight with amazement.   
"It feels so real." he whispered  
"It is." replied Merlin, who had somehow appeared at his shoulder, "I summoned it. It isn't just an illusion, it is very much real."  
"It's amazing." gasped Arthur, "Merlin, it's amazing. How did you… Oh Merlin."   
"Do you wanna see something else?" asked Merlin  
"Yeah!"   
The stag ran back through the trees and out of sight. Arthur saw more branches sprouting out the trunks of the trees and twisting together to form an almost solid wall. Exept two doorways. One led out into the woods where the stag had gone but the other seemed to lead to a tunnel of trees. Arthur walked towards it, his head tilted slightly.   
"Go on." said Merlin, "Follow it, see where it leads."   
Arthur turned and flashed Merlin a huge smile before sprinting off down the tunnel, Merlin close behind him. He broke through the trees and found himself on the bank of the lake of Avalon. It was almost pitch black. Then little lights began to light up all around him. Like little flames in the nights sky, they flew over the surface of the lake, lighting up the world around him. His mouth hung open slightly.   
"What are they?"   
"Fireflies." said Merlin proudly, "All real, summoned from the woods."  
"Merlin it's beautiful. Oh Merlin…"   
Merlin grabbed Arthur arm.   
"Come on, let's go back. It's getting really cold and you aren't even wearing a shirt."  
Arthur was reluctant to let Merlin drag him back to the clearing which was now a kind of tree den. It was true, he was freezing, but it was so beautiful. He had no idea Merlin could do things like that. He had presumed it was just stuff like lighting fires and fighting, how wrong he had been. 

When they reached the clearing Arthur sat next to Merlin, pulling on his shirt and lying down on a bed of leaves Merlin had whipped together for him, Merlin lay close by. The fire flickered a few metres away, emitting a golden glow similar to that of Merlin's eyes when he did magic. Everything seemed so perfect, Arthur could hardly believe it was only a few days since he had been fighting in Camlann. Everything was so peaceful now, Arthur felt like this was what life was meant to be. Sitting in the woods with his best friend, so free. Free of kingly responsibilities and complicated decisions. There was nothing he had to do here except enjoy himself and stay alive. And even after everything that had happened, Arthur couldn't remember ever being this happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter is here already! I have to admit I'm getting really into this idea. I might take a break from writing my other fic to focus on this one. I'm still deciding how long i want it to be but there should be regular updates. If you want to check me out on Instagram I'm merthxr on there too. Thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

"MERLIN!"  
Arthur's scream echoed through the valley and down to Merlin who was gathering his thoughts standing by the lake of Avalon, staring out onto the still water. Merlin spun round.  
"Arthur? What's the matter? What happene-"  
Apparently Arthur had no intention of letting Merlin finish his sentence and the two of them were nearly thrown into the lake as Arthur came hurtling down the hill and into his friend.  
"Where were you?" he gasped, "I thought I'd lost you Merlin, my other half, I thought-"  
"Hey," said Merlin gently, "You know I'd never leave you."  
"BUT YOU DID!" roared Arthur, stepping away from Merlin to glare at him. Suddenly angry instead of relieved, "I WOKE UP AND YOU WERE GONE! NO NOTE, MESSAGE, NOT A TRACE TO TELL ME WHERE YOU'D GONE. YOU COULD HAVE BEEN EATEN, KIDNAPPED, KILLED AND I WOULDN'T KNOW BECAUSE YOU WERE JUST GONE!" Arthur seemed to be crossing the line between furious and hysterical. His eyes were wide and full of angry, scared tears, "HOW WAS I MEANT TO KNOW WHAT HAD HAPPENED TO YOU, BECAUSE YOU JUST LEFT!"  
"I thought I'd make it back before you woke up!" said Merlin in alarm, Arthur normally had his temper under very good control  
"But you didn't." whispered Arthur. All anger was gone, replaced by raw fear and desperation, "Merlin anything could have happened."  
There were tears streaming down Arthur's face now and his breath was coming in uneven gasps. He fell to his knees and bowed his head as tears fell onto his lap. Merlin knelt down in front of him, putting both hands on Arthur's shoulders.  
"Just breath Arthur, just breath."  
Arthur shuffled forward, letting his forehead drop to rest over Merlin's heart. Arthur listened to the lull of Merlin's heartbeat and slowly his breaths evened out. Merlin rubbed his back and allowed Arthur to sob into his shoulder. Arthur hadn't a clue how Merlin was so good at the whole comforting thing, Arthur never cried, not in front of Merlin anyway.  
"I thought I'd lost you." he sobbed  
"It's okay Arthur." murmured Merlin, "You can't get rid of me that easily can you. Come on."  
Merlin helped Arthur to his feet and without a word the two of them made their way back to the clearing together.  
"Why were you there?" asked Arthur  
"I was just thinking." replied Merlin, "Just thinking about everything. The lake is a good place to do that. So calm and peaceful, until you come along anyway."  
"Sorry."  
"It's fine."  
They walked in silence again, down the tunnel of trees and into the tree hut. They sat down around what remained of their fire and Merlin glanced uncertainty up at Arthur.  
"I think we need to think about the future." he said evenly, "We can't just live out our days here. We need proper food, the stuff I magic up isn't real food. Sure it fills you up, but it isn't particularly good for you."  
"I always thought…" Arthur paused, wondering if he should tell Merlin of the aspirations he'd had before he was king.  
"You've always thought what?"  
"Well," began Arthur, "even before I was king… I dreamed of going somewhere nobody would recognise me. I'd buy some farmland and live a normal life, where people could treat me like a human. I can never be sure if people actually like me or are just being nice because of my title. Nobody treats me like a human. People look at me and they don't see me, they see a prince or a king. I want people to see me for who I am, Merlin, not for my title. And I think you're about the only person who does that."  
"Then we should do that."  
"What?"  
"Well I don't see any reason why you can't follow your dream now you're not king anymore. You're just an ordinary person. We can find some farmland and live a normal life." said Merlin, "Give it a few weeks and I should be able to find a place. That is if you still want to do it anyway. I don't see why not."  
Arthur's face flooded with excitement. His eyes shone and his mouth cracked into a wide grin.  
"Oh Merlin! Thank you! Of course I still want to do it!"  
"Your wish is my command, oh Arthur the ordinary human being, ex king of Camelot."  
"Merlin,"  
"Shut up?"  
"Yup." 

\--✩--

For the next month or so they slipped into a kind of routine. In the mornings they would normally go down to the river for a wash and a swim. Then they would go out into the outlying villages to see if they could find any farmland for sale. They would then find something to eat, they became friends with one of the farmers, Jackson, and he often offered them lunch. They would sometimes continue looking through the afternoon but normally went back to the woods. It wasn’t perfect, sometimes Merlin would still wake up in a cold sweat with nightmares, mostly about Arthur's death. He would lie there panicking and gasping on the floor for a few minutes before he would fall asleep wrapped in the comfort and safety of Arthur's arms. Arthur was getting more and more used to Merlin's magic and everything was working out, even if it was a bit strange. 

But things were changing, Arthur was beginning to notice things about Merlin, little things like the way his nose wrinkled up when he ate something he didn't like or the way he hummed when he was satisfied with something. But it wasn't just things like that, Merlin was physically changing too. His shoulders were broader and his arms more muscular, maybe it was the work he was doing around the woods or the villages. Arthur was amazed he didn't use magic but when he asked Merlin about it he just said he wanted to do it properly. 

Merlin noticed things were changing about Arthur too. He wasn't quite so closed off anymore. The hard shell he had retreated to when he became king was fading away. Even when he was still prince he had shielded his emotions, thinking they were a weakness. But now he laughed more, cried more, and Merlin found he liked this new Arthur. Merlin could see things in Arthur which he couldn’t believe he had missed before. Like the way he bit his fist when he was sad or the way he twisted his hair round his finger when he was thinking. They were things that Merlin should have noticed before after spending years with Arthur but he was only beginning to spot now, now Arthur was the only person he had. 

This was just a morning like any other. Arthur woke up earlier than Merlin, as always. He looked across to see his friend, asleep on a bed of leaves and grass. Arthur crawled across and slapped his friend lightly on the arm. Merlin's eyes snapped open and he groaned, rolling over to look at Arthur.  
"What do you want?"  
"Get up. I want to get to the river before the Sun rises."  
Merlin sat up and scowled at Arthur. His dark hair stuck up in all directions and looked distinctly like a birds nest.  
"And why on earth would you want to do that?" he asked irritably, "It'll be freezing at this time in the morning."  
"Well you can heat it up can't you? Come on Merlin, do it for me?"  
Arthur looked down at Merlin, his eyes pleading and hopeful. That's what did it, Merlin's heart melted and he sat up. He reached a hand out and ran his fingers through his hair. Arthur's shoulders tensed, God that felt nice.  
"What are you doing?"  
"You look like Gwaine after he's come back from the tavern." grumbled Merlin, "Come on then, we have to leave now if you want to get to the river before the Sun rises."  
Merlin got to his feet and turned towards the archway of trees. Arthur scrambled up and followed Merlin out the tree hut and through the woods towards the water. When they arrived Arthur pulled off his shirt and tossed it onto the far bank and Merlin did the same. Arthur slipped into the water, it took all his self control not to gasp as the cold water met his skin. Merlin chuckled at the look of shock on his face.  
"Heat it up Merlin my arse is freezing off!"  
"I don't need to know about the state of your arse, Arthur. Look I'll heat it up now give me a second."  
Merlin sat on the stone and dipped his feet into the icy water. The water began to get warmer and Arthur's shoulders relaxed.  
"Thanks Merlin."  
Merlin stood up and jumped into the river. The water splashed into Arthur's face he squealed in a very un-kingly way. Merlin surfaced, laughing, shaking his dark hair like a dog. That was when the first rays of morning sunlight flitted through the trees, they fell on Merlin's face as he laughed and Arthur found he couldn’t tear his eyes away. And that was also when Arthur released two things, the first one being he was in love with his best friend, the second being he wanted Merlin to always be this happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is chapter three! I'm thinking this will probably be about 5 chapters but I can't be sure. Hope you're enjoying it so far :)


	4. Chapter 4

"MERLIN! ARTHUR!"   
Jackson, the farmer marched down the road towards the two men, a huge smile fixed across his face.   
"Hi Jackson!" called Merlin, "Everything okay?"   
"It's better than okay, Merlin." said Jackson happily, "I think I've found a place you two might be interested in!"   
"Wow! Really?" cried Arthur, his face flooded with excitement, "Where is it?"  
"Come on." said the farmer, "I'll show you. It belonged to my brother, he's got married and is moving to the neighbouring village, he doesn't want anything for it, it's yours for free!" 

\--✩--

It was a truly beautiful house. The downstairs had two rooms to it, the entrance hallway, and a place to eat. In one corner there were some stairs leading up to the bedroom, which had two small beds in it, pressed against the opposite walls. It wasn't very big, especially not compared to the roomy corridors and chambers Arthur was used to, but it was perfect for their needs. Coming off it were two large fields and a yard for any animals. It was about half an hours walk from the main village with no other houses close by. Arthur fell in love with it instantly. The moment they walked through the door he looked eagerly across at Merlin, who grinned back. His eyes were glowing gold, he's looking round the full house with his magic, thought Arthur. Merlin was nodding excitedly as he created a map of the house in his head.   
"It's brilliant." he said softly, Jackson shot him a suspicious look  
"This is only the entrance."   
"Merlin can just tell if he likes something." said Arthur hurriedly, saving Merlin from having to lie, he was terrible at it, "Good sense and everything."  
Jackson grunted and nodded. And led them round the rest of the house. 

\--✩--

On the first night in the new house, Arthur was a bit jumpy and uncertain. Merlin was right at home, of course this was luxury compared to his old house in Ealdor, but for Arthur it was a whole different story. There was a party in the village that night, for the chief's birthday. Merlin was loving every minute of it. There were young children running round the bonfire and playing hide and seek. Some came and sat with him and Merlin, wanting to hear about them and their lives before they had come here. They only told part of the truth, that they had come from Camelot and that they lost their horses on the way. How Arthur had got wounded by the Saxons and Merlin had saved him. They made parts up, of course, there would be too many gaps in the story had they not. But Merlin could sense Arthur was on edge, he'd always had a bit of a thing about crowded parties. Being who he was he had learned to hide it well, but Merlin knew Arthur better than anyone and could tell he was nervous. Little things like the way we was constantly fingering a loose thread on his shirt or the way he was humming softly to himself. When he finished telling his tale to another group of children he shuffled across the log to Arthur and put a hand on his arm. Arthur jumped out of his skin at having his thoughts invaded, but when he saw it was Merlin he let out a low whistle.   
"Nice party, huh?"   
"Yeah, they're great people. Why don't you try talking to someone, all the kids will want to hear what you have to say."   
Arthur looked across at Merlin, his eyes slightly panicked, "Merlin you know me, how I am with parties…"   
"Yeah, I do. Come on, we can go home if you want?"   
"Mmm, home. Look I don't want to ruin your fun Merlin. Don't worry about me."  
"I always worry about you, Arthur." said Merlin with a laugh, "You must have got used to that by now? No, come on. It's getting late anyway, heaven knows how all these kids still have so much energy."  
Arthur chuckled softly, "Thanks Merls."  
"Merls again?"   
"It suits you though!"   
"It makes me sound like a girl." huffed Merlin  
"Perfect then." said Arthur smugly, "Look, if you don't want to go home, I understand. lThere wasn't a sound except the distant shouting from the party, "Can't believe we found a house."  
"Yeah, me neither." replied Merlin, his voice loud in the silence, "I think I'll miss the woods though. It was nice there."  
"Me too. But you do realise that our house is actually closer to the woods than the main village. We could probably still go down to the river in the mornings if we wake up earlier."  
"Geography isn't my strong point Arthur." said Merlin, his lip twitching slightly, he paused, then, "I'm glad you aren't dead."  
"So am I!" snorted Arthur, "Hey Merlin, race you to the end of the street."  
With that Arthur took of down the road, leaving Merlin grumbling behind him. He laughed again, turning around and running back to Merlin, sweeping him off the ground and swinging him over his shoulder.   
"ARTHUR! CAN YOU AT LEAST TRY AND BE GENTLE?"   
"Okay, okay."  
Arthur gently placed Merlin back on the floor. It took him a moment to realise he still hadn't let go of his friends waist. He coughed and rubbed the back of his neck self consciously. Good job it was dark or Merlin would have seen how much he was blushing. Arthur quickly turned and continued the walk towards the house. It seemed to drag on forever with Merlin trudging silently beside him but they arrived eventually. Arthur opened the door and stepped aside, allowing Merlin to walk in first, he followed and shut the door behind him. 

\--✩--

Arthur looked across at Merlin, who was sitting on his bed, fiddling with the coin again. Arthur gave an exasperated sigh and sat cross-legged down opposite the darker haired man.   
"You okay Merlin?"   
"Yeah." said Merlin quickly, "Just, I haven't lived in an actual house since before I came to Camelot, I forgot how nice it was."  
Arthur let his legs hang over the edge of the bed and shuffled across towards Merlin, slipping an arm round his shoulders. Merlin copied Arthur's movements and curled up against him, Arthur tried his best to ignore the fact that Merlin's entire body was pressed against his and tried to focus on the fact that they actually had a house. 

He failed. 

He didn't even notice that he was staring down at Merlin until their eyes met. Oh no. Merlin just looked so… perfect. With the moonlight shining through the window and into his face. And he was just so close. Arthur would only have to move a tiny bit… 

He moved a tiny bit. Arthur's lips pressed against Merlin's. The world didn't tilt or spin as he had expected, it EXPLODED. Everything else was gone, it was just him and Merlin and everything was as it should be. But it wasn't, Merlin wasn't kissing him back, but he wasn't pulling away, but he wasn't kissing back. Arthur argued with himself for a moment before panicking and pulling back. Merlin's eyes were wide as he stared up at Arthur. Arthur stared back and realised too late that his hand was still curled around Merlin's wrist. He let go like he'd been electrocuted. Merlin still hadn't spoken, he looked like a statue, pale and unmoving.   
"Merlin…?"   
There was a knock at the door. Merlin leapt off the bed and ran down the stairs. Leaving Arthur to gaze hopelessly after him. Arthur could hear Jackson asking Merlin why they had left early. He should probably go down and talk to him, but that would mean facing Merlin and he couldn't do that, not yet. Arthur crossed the room and flopped down onto his bed, burying his head in the pillow. God Merlin must hate him.   
He lay there for what felt like hours until he heard Merlin come up the stairs again. He could feel the warlock's eyes on him, he pretended to be asleep. Wondering how the hell he'd gone and mucked up his relationship with the only friend he had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry.  
> It will get better i swear!  
> I think the next chapter might be the last but I might do another part to this series.


	5. Chapter 5

When Arthur woke it was still dark. He did know what time it was but he didn't care. He glanced across to where Merlin was still sleeping peacefully. Arthur slipped off the bed and crept down the stairs, as he ran out the door the cold air hit him. He shuddered, but he wasn't going back inside and risking Merlin waking up. He ran through the field and jumped over the fence, he kept running till he reached the lake of Avalon. Strange, normally after a run like that he was tired, but he felt nothing, just cold empty and heartbroken. Merlin must hate him, and Arthur understood why. He'd messed up everything, the friendship they had so carefully built was gone all because he couldn’t control his stupid feelings. God he was such an idiot. Arthur tried to ignore the knot of uncertainty that had settled in his stomach since last night and stared out over the still water of the lake. And when he looked down at his reflection it was the first time he noticed he wasn't alone. Merlin stood at his shoulder. Arthur jumped a foot in the air and spun round to glare at Merlin.   
"What the hell do you think you're doing?!"  
"Watching you." replied Merlin simply, "What the hell do you think YOU'RE doing?"   
Arthur just gaped at his friend for a moment, trying to think of a snappy retort, he failed. His mind was blank and it took all his effort to tear his eyes away.   
"Look, Merlin." he began  
"I don't want to hear it Arthur." snapped Merlin, holding a hand up to silence the blonde  
"No Merlin!" cried Arthur, "I want to tell you. I may not be king anymore but you can't tell me what to do!" Merlin raised one, unimpressed eyebrow in a very Gaius way, "Sorry." said Arthur softly, "But Merlin, about last night. I don't want years of friendship to be flushed away just because I can't control my feelings. I understand if you hate me, I understand if you want me to move to Cenreds old land and never see you again. And whatever you want Merlin, I'll do it. Because that's how much I love you Merlin, I'll do whatever it takes to make you happy."  
Damn.  
He hadn't meant to say that much. He'd meant to stop at the fact that he understood if Merlin never meant to see him again, not all that stuff about how much he loved Merlin.   
Damn.   
Damn. Damn. Damn.   
Merlin's expression was unreadable, weird, normally Arthur could read Merlin like a book.   
"You… You care?" asked Merlin, his voice barely more than a whisper.   
Arthur gave a bitter laugh, "Do I care? Do I care? Merlin I would sell my kingdom for you, not that I have one anymore. I would give everything for you Merlin of course I care! I tried to forget you, I tried to love Guinevere but I could never love anyone like I love you. What's the point? The people accepted a king marrying a servent but a king marrying a servent BOY? Whole different story, and it's you! You don't care about me, not like I care about you."  
"Who says I don't care like that?"   
Merlin's voice was almost like a challenge and Arthur's jaw dropped.   
"You care?"   
"Yes!" yelled Merlin, "God Arthur, you are a total prat but of course I care! How could I not? You're-"   
"So you won't mind if I kiss you again?"   
Merlin froze and looked up at Arthur. He licked his lips nervously and shook his head. A smile cracked across Arthur's face as he gently cupped Merlin's face with his hands, bringing their foreheads together.   
"You sure?" he asked, almost desperately, "Merlin I don't want to force you into anything…"   
"I'm sure."  
Arthur smiled again and tilted his head slightly so that their lips met.   
If Arthur had thought it was good before it was nothing compared to now. It was like everything he'd ever dreamed of and more.   
After what could have been seconds, minutes, hours, days, Arthur didn't know. He completely lost track of everything, he pulled back, still grinning stupidly at the man in front of him. Merlin's face mirrored his and when Arthur looked up he saw the fireflies again. Lighting up the dawn as the sun rose over the horizon. With Merlin tucked against his chest and the light shining down on the lake of Avalon everything was perfect. Everything was as it should be and Arthur couldn't have wished for anything more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if its a short chapter! Thats it guys, it's finished! I might add another part to the series but i dont think it will be for a while. Thanks for sticking with me all this way!


End file.
